I've been growing this days... like a lot o_o
I've been knowing myself since I wanted to know why I do the things I do
It hurts to let go, but it feels great to be more wise
It hurts to know that what I feel for someone is produced by my own mind
It's still hard to accept a lot of things in life, or even harder, frustrating not understanding certain situations in life
There is a dark side that my body wants to let out, it's been really difficult to still keep it inside, behind my fears
I'm so afraid to let out what I don't want to be because I can't accept that dark side that is also who I am.
2015 will be a really hard bloody war inside me. At the end, I wish I grew up from everything.
It excites me, I'm curious, I know it will hurt and I'm still afraid, but I want to grow up.
Wish me luck.
I almost forgot to explain the photo. The main idea was to express how I feel about this guy. I met him about 3 years ago. We hang out several days and then I disappeared. [I couldn't stop thinking in the past, in another person]
I thought of him since the beginning of this year trying to understand what I feel, I've had postergate this feelings for him and at the end it blew up in front of my face, and well, I really into him. The thing is, that he not longer feels something as big as what I feel, and well, I think that's a problem to match right now. He said he wanted to try just to understand what's going on with himself, but he does not promise anything.
I've tried almost everything, but I can't find what else to do, to make him see I could be the one whom he can share his world.
So, the photo just say something that I can't explain. Says nothing but says everything.
If you don't understand the photo [as I told him]... at least you can understand how I feel.
I don't know if I am in love, but I want so bad to share my life with him.